Hormones much?

I am tired. Incredibly tired. Fatigue beyond explanation. I am uncomfortable, grouchy and pretty much a crying, hormonal mess. What in the world made me think I could handle 2 kids? Am I ruining Natalie's life? After Patrick shows up will it be 6 months before I am able to finish a conversation with my husband? 9 months maybe?

Had my 40 week OB appt this morning. All is well. Just back from a library trip w/ Nattie. Jame is installing the infant seat in the car and its beastly hot outside for the 3rd day in a row.

I think this is why I kept on working. When I am home and unable to stay on my feet and constantly busy I am free to think. And thinking, at 40 weeks pregnant, when its 93* outside, is just bad. Thinking how scary all of this is, and how sad I feel and how things will change for all of us is so overwhelming.

Ack....

More pictures :)

Just got these from Amy. They were taken at the beginning of March :)

Nattie, Patrick (33 weeks) and me at a kite festival. It was the most gorgeous day!

Nattie was so excited to have the same pj's as her friend G!

Updates

39w appt & meaningless stats....

My weight is stable, Patrick sounded good, BP is still good, I'm measuring fine. Uncomfortable as all hell and sick of going pee. I agreed to have my cervix checked and it turns out I am 3cm dilated, 90% effaced and at 0 station. The downside is that none of this means anything as far as when labor will start. The upside is that when labor does start there will be less of it to do. I had one incident where I had an insane urge to clean the bathrooms at 3am over the w/e but otherwise am feeling pretty stable. I suspect labor is still a week away.

The weekend....

I would like to send a huge THANK YOU out to my fabulous husband for this weekend. On Saturday he took Nattie out to run an errand and for lunch. Then she napped and then he took her out again for a bike ride. I cannot express how nice it was to just chill. He also cleaned the bathrooms (note my mention of my insane urge at 3am) and got the house straightened, did a bunch of classwork and was awfully nice to me too boot. Sunday he & Nattie went for another long bike ride and I had more time to get some things done at a reasonable pace rather than at breakneck speed in between reminders not to color on carpet or eat playdoh.

Nattie has finally figured out that peddling her trike is easier than pushing it around and letting the pedals bang off her shins. We're planning to get her a bike for her bday so this is a big step. She's very proud of herself.

And poor Jame is suffering miserably from his allergies. We finally closed the house up & turned the air on because the yellow coating of pollen everywhere negating anything nice about the weather for him. Thankfully Nattie doesn't seem to be having any problems right now.

Thats it from here. I think. Oh...my last day of work is Friday. I am so glad I will only wake to my stupid alarm clock 4 more times between now & late July!

First Haircut

Yesterday was Natalie's first haircut. I made the appointment last week and since then she's been steadfast in her opposition. Jame & I have been talking it up. The staff and friends at daycare have been telling her how exciting it is. But there was no convincing Miss Natalie. I pulled out all the stops and told her she could have ice cream afterward if she was good. Still no. Anyway, I decided we were doing it anyway and off we went yesterday afternoon. I don't have any photo's of the actual event because I was holding her while she yelled "NO!!!!" and wailed "nooooooooooooo" and buried her face in my chest. But I did save the clippings and I got some pics afterward. Here's Natalie, with her new 1" shorter hair, enjoying the promised ice cream. And in case anyone thinks it might've been too traumatic...as soon as she saw Jame she told him she wanted to go back & do it again. LMBO!

and all sugared up!

Pictures...in no real order :)

Helping Daddy wash his busted bike before it goes to the repair shop.






Tulip & Rosemary



Future Strawberries!

Scouting out the bunny trail!

More Eggs :)

New TV means quiet for Mommy for 10 minutes!

decorating eggs - very serious business.

Put the sticker here, Daddy! (please ignore Nattie's ribs - I swear we feed her!)

Last night in the bathroom.... and other stuff

Lately I feel like there is a ton of stuff to catch everyone up on but am so busy. Sorry these keep coming in installments.

Last night in the bathroom...

Me: Can you please finish brushing and pee pee. Its time for story.
Nattie: Don't leave me after story. I want to snuggle for, ummm, ummmm, 5 Minutes!
Me: Sounds good.
Nattie: Then you can go downstairs and shake your booty.

The best part of this is that the idea of me going downstairs to boogie down in the livingroom is hilarious on a good day....But yesterday I felt like hell on wheels and simply wanted to slip into a coma for a minimum of 10 hours! Shake my booty!? LMAO! Where does she come up with this stuff?

Easter.... Very quiet day. Nattie got her basket first thing and was very pleased w/ the chalk, play doh and choco bunny. She ate his ears off immediately :) The weather was gorgeous but chilly in the a.m. so we put off our backyard egg hunt til after nap. We did go to Lisa & Daniel's for a little while so the girls could run around. Nattie had a great time following the bunny trail in the backyard even though it took her a minute to realize she didn't need to open each egg and discover the treat before moving on.

Jame.... Another set of A's for his last classes. :)

38 weeks.... I remembered hating this part. I forgot how much. I will skip the vent and focus on the reality that I am not going to be less banged up, busy, sore or exhausted for having this pregnancy end. Perspective??

The weekend part II (Saturday)

Did I mention that our TV finally broke last Thursday? Well, it did. So, on Saturday, after I finished errands and such Jame went to go get his new baby. Not Patrick of course, but the Sony Bravia 40" tv that the man has patiently waited on for a couple of years. :) I have pictures of he & Nattie enjoying the giant display but have been too lazy in the evenings to upload. I must also admit that I think its a pretty nice TV even if I'm not much for watching it. Something about life-sized people on the screen is pleasing :) Nattie loves it too (she loves anything new) and told all her preschool friends about her new giant TV yesterday.

The weather was pretty crappy so we stayed in most of the day and relaxed. Nattie & I colored Easter Eggs in the afternoon and we had Spaghetti dinner on Saturday since Easter was interrupting our normally scheduled pasta feast :) I finished my to-do list except for seeding my garden. Whew!

I promise, pictures will come.

The weekend part I (aka Friday)

I decided to take the day off on Friday. Probably a stupid thing to do from a work stand point but I was just dead on my feet. So, Friday morning I dropped Nattie at daycare and headed to my OB appt. Patrick is very low. According to my OB he's engaged in my pelvis which explains my need to pee about 30-35x a day....literally. She also said that based on her external poking, Nattie's birth weight and the size of my uterus that she thinks he's probably around 8lbs (or was on Friday before I ate a lot of Easter chocolate!) He sounded great, I'm doing well and we don't have to go back for another week. Yay!

Sorry for those who are dying of curiosity but I declined the internal exam. Last go round 'the experts' declared me 90% effaced and Nattie at zero-station around 34 weeks. They exclaimed with every confidence that I would NEVER make it to my due date. It was honestly torture thinking I could go into labor any minute for the next 6 weeks. So, I decided to spare myself this time around. Its not that I'm not really curious if I'm dilating or effacing...because, believe me, I am....but since it appears to have no bearing at all on when the cherub will arrive I determined that was no need for the info. Also, internal exams aren't exactly fabulous so if they're also useless then I'll just pass :)

After my appt I checked 2 more things off my to-do list (Yay!) and then went & had a lovely prenatal massage. The table had a hole in it for my belly and I felt practically human for a whole day after the gal was done with me. It was a nice evening complete w/ Chinese take-out.

Analogy for the current state of my job....

I keep trying to explain that I've been busy to the point of frantic at work. It finally dawned on me how I could explain this in a way to make people (or women at least) understand. I feel like every day of work, for the last 2-3w, has been as crazed as the night before you leave on vacation for a week....and you haven't packed yet. Ladies, you know exactly what feeling I'm talking about. Jame has never experienced this particular stress since his fabulous wife takes care of vacation planning...but he know the look in my eye when I get to this stage...and so has finally recognized why I'm so stressed & tired when I get home in the afternoon. He is a good egg. Got a backrub out of him last night!

37 weeks.....Full term.....exhale

Oh happiness! Patrick is full term. He's still not invited to his own birthday for at least 14 days but it feels so good to know the munchkin's lungs are ready and all he needs to do now is get fatter! Whew....and I'll go ahead and do the biggest exhale I can with my crushed lungs. :)

This weekend the weather was beyond gorgeous...70 & perfect blue sky. Saturday I finished P's room as evidenced by the pictures. I also got the batteries charged for all the toys/swing/bouncy/etc. Finished a little tote of stuff for Nattie to play w/ when I'm nursing. Got her easter basket ready. Made another freezer meal. Had a pedicure (ahhhhh so nice!). Played outside a lot. Got my cool weather veggies direct seeded into the garden. And I'm thinking I did sit down for a few minutes too.

Sunday I got caught up on all the back filing. Sent Nattie's portraits in the mail. Partially packed a hospital bag for P & I. Made a list of things missing from the bag. Played outside a lot. Generally over did it to the point that I could barely walk by the end of the day....stupid hips. Jame went golfing and so I was left alone with Nattie. Getting so much harder to stay on top of her! Have to say he did pick a hell of a nice day to golf so who can blame him? And I think the pressure of having a 2nd kiddo is starting to set in for him too so it was good that he got to get out for some time to himself.

My to-do list actually does look shorter this week. Not a lot but enough that I feel better. Now if only the work at work would ease up. Not likely. I'm tossing the idea around of taking a day off later this week and just sitting somewhere. Actual relaxation. It may be the last time I get to do that for several months and so I think it might be worth it to burn a day of my leave. Selfish...but sometimes a gal is so much better off when she's not losing her mind :)

Oh, and Jame finished up another round of classes yesterday. Started a new set today. I'm sure we'll see more A's when his grades are posted next week :)

Some pictures....

Was messing around w/ the camera settings this morning and caught these of Nattie while she was 'helping' me garden. I think she looks beautiful.

And I have finally finished Patrick's room. I think it is adorable... Yay me for finally recovering some teensy shred of creativity in time!

I'm gonna be THUMB!

Nattie has been practicing showing us 'how many' on her fingers and I guess it amounts to simple addition & subtraction. She loves doing it and we've recently started using her age/birthday as an example.

From the car this morning.....

Me: How old are you now?
Nattie: (holds up 2 fingers) I'M TWO!
Me: (holding up 3 fingers) How old will you be on your birthday?
Nattie: TWO!
Me: No, you're two now. Add 1 more and how old will you be? (holding up 3 fingers)
Nattie: I'M GONNA BE THUMB! (sticking her thumb out hitch hiker style)

I think it took me a good 5 minutes to stop laughing. It was hilarious! I so wish I had it on video!

Ripping every last hair out of my head!

Warning....Mostly bad attitude, grouchy, nasty vent ahead!

All I want to do with my last month(ish) at work is get my crap together and surf the net. Sadly there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that this will happen. I'm grouchy about it. Actually, I'm fairly grouchy about most everything...but you'll have that when you've got a big ole baby head in your nether regions and it causes lightning bolts to come out your hoo ha whenever you move the wrong way, or the right way...or at all.

updates....

And I'm 36w pregnant. 1 week away from full term and probably a full month away from actually grunting the kiddo out. I have started to receive looks of sympathy from anyone who's ever done this before....

Sadly I also had my first experience w/ reflux after I behaved like a piggy so I guess I've hit that stage where I'm full even when I'm not full. Full of baby and not food.

Comments I would like to share because they irritated me....
-"OH MY GAWD! Are you absolutely sure your not due for another couple of weeks? You're HUGE!!" - Yes, I'm sure. I was there when I conceived and am fairly good at estimating 40 weeks from the start date.
-"You know babies always come when the Mom is finally ready!?" - If this statement were true half the babies would be born seriously premature and the other half would never arrive. Give me a break!
-"Do you have any idea how tired you look?" - the reason I look tired is because I am tired. I am very pregnant, working full time (like a maniac), I chase a nearly 3yo around, have a house to tend to and suffer from insomia. Perhaps its not suprising that I look tired.
-"Did you know you're limping?" - Yes, I had noticed. You would limp too if you attached 30lbs to the front of you, had a pelvis that had gone squirrely a few months back and had managed to screw up your knee....wait, don't forget that drilling sensation that occurs pretty much 24/7 in my hips. yep, I noticed I was limping.

Vent over.....

29 again :) I had a nice birthday. Saturday night Jame took me out to dinner at a restaurant in the city that we hadn't tried yet. It was yum - especially dessert - and we were both little piggies. Sunday the weather was just gorgeous and N & I took full advantage and spent a ton of time outside. I got burned and must remember to buy sunblock this week. I think Nattie got Jame's complexion (along w/ everything else) because she didn't even turn the teensiest bit pink. And I got a few things checked off my to-do list. So, I guess it was sort of a weird birthday in that it was pretty much like every other day except for dinner the night before. But I still enjoyed it.